Good morning and welcome to my blog this week we are being blessed with a blog from one of my new team members Jenny. Jenny is an amazing coach in the making and is coming near to the end of her year long training. She has been a business expert for many years and decided to refine her wonderful skills for assisting people to transform into formal coaching and mentoring. I hope you enjoy her blog and I look forward to introducing the whole team to you over the coming months, there is six of us now...
Physicists will tell you the the universe is forever changing, it isn't something we can stop, change or control. We live in an ever changing environment, yet, change is something that can often be seen as a threat to many people.
Why am I harping on about change? My life is in a constant state of change, which generally I embrace. I have lived in four countries, spent a great deal of my working live travelling around the world, and changed careers. I believe without change, we do not grow, will not be presented with new and exciting opportunities, and have the chance challenge ourselves and jump out of the comfort zone.
However, every now and then, change can be stressful. We can let it weigh us down - like the weight of the world is on our shoulders, yet for no real reason. I am feeling a little of this now.
The changes I am facing right now are:
- changing employment - retrenched from full time PAYG,
- changing careers - business development to business coaching,
- moving cities - Sydney to Melbourne,
- selling one home in Sydney
- buying a home in Melbourne
How do we cope in a period in our lives when we are confronted with what seem like an insurmountable amount of change? How do we cope when it is in a work situation, when it is personal change, or when it feels like change all around? How do you manage the change, keep the stress levels down, and not feel like you are not managing (or feeling out of control)?
I have found that the following helps me with managing change:
1. Identify the change
- I know it sound silly to write this down, but when you actually list what the changes are, it seems to simplify the situation
2. Embrace Change
- Whether you wish to embrace change, or simple just accept that change is going to happen, you can harness all your energy into managing this, make sure you have positive energy around you. It is pretty surprising how much negative energy we can put into fighting change, or allowing it to stress us out. The retrenchment was a surprise for me, however after the initial shock, I realised it was a blessing in disguise. I could now finally pursue my dream of my own business without the dilemma of giving up a well paid job (I was going to say secure, but that wasn't that case!!)
- Accept that some level of change is inevitable, and when it presents itself ( as it is doing with me now), try and divert your energy into ensuring that the change is presenting a new adventure for you, where you will grow, learn and see new opportunities.
3. Work out what you can manage, what is creating stress and what to delegate.
- Once I jotted down the changes I was facing, I thought that all of this is manageable, however, when detailing my "to do" list, I realised it was the little tasks that were creating my stress. For example, the actual packing my house up seemed to be causing me all sorts of angst, so I investigated the cost to have someone come and pack it for me - it was money well spent.
- The price my house will fetch is also causing some level of stress, however I listed down what I can do to help such as fixing up my garden, ensuring the house is looking neat and inviting. Then I put my trust in my Agent (the professional) that he will do his job.
4. Fight the fights that are worth fighting
- This is something a very wise boss once told me. In a work situation in the corporate world, I have seen people expend a huge amount of energy and emotion in trying to take on every issue/change or challenge that they are confronted with. I have finally learnt to let some issues/decisions that I disagree with go, and focus my attention on the issues that mean the most to me (and I have some chance of influencing the outcome).
- In a personal situation, I change the meaning slightly to "identify what you can manage, and let go of the unmanageable issues". I looked at what I can manage in the move and what I can not. I started to stress that initially I was not going to have somewhere to live (that was my own) as finding, buying and moving into a house in 6 weeks was a long shot. I worked out where I could live for a few months and accepted that this was the situation (got to love your friends!). One less issue to worry about.
5. Create short term goals and reward yourself
- Once I identified the manageable issues, I set some tasks and goals (again, writing this stuff down seems to help clear my head)
- Set some easy short term goals - and when you reach them, congratulate yourself. It will help you see progress, and a bit of "self congratulations" can really help in motivating you for the harder tasks. I fixed up my garden (with the help of my family - see point 6) and now my garden looks neat and homely - one less task to worry about.
6. Espouse the change (share it) and draw on your support group
- Once I started to share the changes I was facing (including my fears and issues) with my friends and family, I realised I have an amazing support group. They were all there as a shoulder for support, a sanity check and to help out with some of those tasks that just seemed overwhelming. Dont ever underestimate the value of friends in times of need - they are there for the good times and the not-so-good times!
Change is inevitable. Some we create for ourselves, some change is thrust upon us by others and some change just happens (the change in seasons). Fighting it all the time is energy consuming (and negative energy at that), some change will happen regardless of what we desire, other changes we can manage, delay or divert, however, there will always be change in our lives. How boring would life be without some little change!!
Strangely after writing this, the changes I am facing seem a little smaller, more manageable and definitely more exciting. Thank you!!
Embrace the change that you are presented with, and have the courage to instigate change that your desire. Just remember.......
"life is a journey, not a destination". Randolf Waldo Emerson
Cheers Marcus and Jenny
